Metaphorically lately, I have also been in a desert of sorts. I have had these feelings of being in a barren wasteland within my own mind and it is draining me of my joy. I like to be honest and transparent in my blogs because usually someone is dealing with something similar and it's nice sometimes to feel like you are not crazy or alone in this world.
The most frustrating part about feeling down or sad is not being able to really pinpoint why you are sad. This is where I am. I have so very much to be grateful for and so very many reasons to be joyful, and I sometimes am, but lately I found myself on the other end of the spectrum.
Today in trying to remedy these feelings of sadness I have looked into volunteering at a local food bank, I have contacted my church about volunteering there, I sat down at the piano and worshiped Jesus, and I have looked up some verses to give me hope about my current state. The truth of the matter is, I can volunteer my butt off, I can talk to people and get advice, I can escape for a minute in a funny TV show; but, the only thing that will actually bring me up out of this temporary pit is Jesus. I know that from the bottom of my heart and so it is time for me to seek Him out and hand over this sadness to him.
The most important thing is that I recognize something is wrong and that I admit it. Often I feel like when people are sad or depressed, they don't want to tell anyone because they don't want to be a burden. They don't want people to think that they are being crazy. Or if they are anything like me, they think, "Why I am sad? There are so many people that have legitimate reasons to be sad and here I am being so pitiful." But, He doesn't really care if you are a privileged American white girl or a underprivileged boy in Africa; He tells us all to come to Him with our troubles and to lay them at His feet. Nowhere does he say, "Hey, if you are just sad for no reason, shake it off."
There are so many verses that gave me hope today and I'd like to share a few of them.
Psalms 40:1-3 I waited patiently for the LORD; he inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the LORD.
