T W E N T Y - S E V E N.
This stark realization is a little disheartening especially when I feel 22. The biggest reason I think I feel 22 is because I am constantly wondering when I will find my niche. I'm stuck in that college age. I feel like I'm sitting impatiently in the waiting room of life, waiting to be directed to my place in this world.
This is something that has always stirred inside of me: What should I do? Where can I make the biggest difference in someone else's life? It is an uncomfortable thought and a frustrating one to be reminded of when I feel like everyone else around me has found their place. In this day and age of social media, it's a very real struggle to not define your self worth by whether or not your baby announcement was Pinterest worthy enough for the masses. Don't lose hope.
Sunday, a weight was lifted off of my shoulders concerning this need of mine to find something to do that will make me feel worthy or valued. We tried out a new church in Norman (couldn't get connected at previous church) and the pastor said this, "Who you are should not be defined by what you do. What you do should be defined by who you are." He might as well have said,
"Nicole, who you are should not be defined by what you do!!
What you do should be defined by who you are!
Capeesh?!?!"
What you do should be defined by who you are!
Capeesh?!?!"
I have to admit that right after he said this, he lost me. I was in my own head with thoughts like, "Wait, so I could do anything in the world and it wouldn't define me??? God, you're telling me that it doesn't matter what I do? All that matters is who I am?"
I began thinking about how really whatever I end up doing in life, as long as my actions are centered on who I am as a Christian, the rest of it shouldn't matter. Whether I work in a flower shop, file in Financial Aid, scoop ice cream, nanny children, clean apartments, work in an office, take care of my grandma; it doesn't matter. I still need to be who I am all the time. This really got me thinking: Who am I? Have I been an ambassador and servant of Jesus? Has his light, love, mercy, kindness, joy, grace, forgiveness, compassion, patience, and integrity been shown in my work?
It seems so simple, yet here I am at twenty-six years old just now finally seeing the big picture. You are not defined by what you do. You're a doctor? Cool. How do you treat your patients? Do your co-workers think that you are kind and respectful? You're a teacher? More power to you. Do your students see you as an example of Christ? You're a stay-at-home mom? Awesome! Do you pray over your kids in the morning before school? Do you let his patience overwhelm you when your kids are driving you insane?
If we let what we do define who we are, we will always feel empty because I guarantee there will always be someone who has a better job, better pay, or better hours. But, if we let who we are define what we do, we will be filled with purpose knowing that we are doing what we were ultimately created for and that is to be a servant of Christ. It should be our goal and our focus to let Jesus be seen in what we do. You never know who at your job or in your day-to-day will need to see the love of Jesus.
Who I am currently is a girl who loves Jesus and Jesus is enough.
Xoxo,
Nicole
