Where Feet May Fail

This song by Hillsong United is my anthem today (and probably the next year or so).  It really spoke to me today.  There is so much unknown right now in my life and really my faith in Christ is what keeps me from completely falling apart.  "My soul will in Your embrace; for I am Yours and You are mine."

Maybe it will speak to you today, too.  I think there is a little unknown in all of our lives. 



"Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)"

You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand

And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now

So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior

I will call upon Your Name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine

Xoxo,

Nicole 

The Grammy's

Here are my thoughts on the Grammy's (performances, fashion, celebs, etc.):

1.  Ciara was best dressed for me.  I mean that dress was beautiful.  Her hair is so simple.  She looks so great . . . and she's PREGNANT. 




2.  Taylor Swift's dress was pretty cool too.  It looked heavy.  But it was a great dress.  She always just seems so humble and down to earth.  Not to mention, she is always having a blast and it looks like she just loves music.  I was not a fan of her headbanging at the piano though.  That was weird, right?


3.  Beyonce and Jay-Z's "Drunk in Love" performance did absolutely nothing for me.  I thought it was terrible.  Maybe you are supposed to be drunk to enjoy it, I don't know.  My opinion is probably not the same as 99% of other Americans, but whatev.  I was truly watching it (post hearing about how great it was) and saying to myself, "Am I missing something?  Is this the performance I keep hearing about?"  In all honesty though, they seem like a really great couple.  I bet they have fun in their marriage.



4.  I enjoyed Imagine Dragons and Kendrick Lamar's performance.  Who is Kendrick Lamar, btw?  I just googled him and apparently he is a little less than a year older than me and his last name is Duckworth.  Thank you very much, Mr. Duck(s)worth.  Quack, quack, quack, Mr. Duck(s)worth.  Solid performance.

5.  I was surprised Tay Swift's album "Red" would be considered country?  Like, did I hear a different "Red" album?  I'm pretty sure mine was as pop as could be.  I felt increasingly old watching the Grammy's because I didn't know a good number of the people on it.  For instance, Kacey Musgraves?  Who the heck is she and where can I get a pair of those light up boots?  While I was not a huge fan of the words in her song, I did like that the style of her song reflected the country that once was. 


6.  Paul McCartney is timeless.  I've seen Paul McCartney live twice now and all I can say is he is flawless.  He also has a really great band that travels with him (one that is a slightly less attractive Phil Dunphy) and I felt bad for the drummer who is very talented but had to play in the dark so Ringo Starr could do his little beats in the spotlight.  I know, I know, he was a Beatle.  It still doesn't mean he was good.

Rusty Anderson (Phil Dunphy) and Sir Paul

7.  John Legend is talented.  Daft Punk is dumb.  The end.

8.  Lorde, AKA Ella Maria Lani Yelich-O'Connor, scared me a little bit in her performance, but I like her.  She seems sweet.  I don't think it was really as much her that scared me as much as it was the angles they shot her from at times.


9.  Pharrell's hat was ridic . . . and not in a good way.    Only Smokey the Bear can pull that off. 

 

10.  Madonna sounded weird and how old is she?  She seemed a lot older than I remember her being.  I was not a huge fan of the whole Macklemore performance.  I think he is really good at what he does and what I take away from that song is, "When I was at church they taught me something else: 

If you preach hate at the service those words aren't anointed."  Other than that, I thought it was kind of a big spectacle.  La, la, la, people probably disagree, but whatever.  I will say that I thought the gal that sings with them on the song, Mary Lambert, did way better than the last award show I saw her on.  She seemed more in her element and not as nervous, so good for her. 

And those are pretty much my thoughts on the Grammy's, as if anyone cared.  Probably not watching next year. 

P.S. Yoko broke up the Beatles but I think she is kind of cute as an older little Asian lady.  :)  (Shhhh!  Don't tell my husband!)

Xoxo, 

Nicole

Reality vs. Technology

The other day I watched a video that showed just how much the human face and body can be retouched by technology and it really made me think.  Currently, I am not super happy with my physical appearance. Because of the holidays, stress, money issues and what not, my health and appearance has somewhat been put on the back burner.  I was thinking today that even if I wasn't working on my appearance and health, I would not want to be misrepresented even if it meant me looking "better."  That probably doesn't make sense but I wouldn't to ever look like something I'm not. 

It brings me back to when I was in high school and I wore color enhancing contacts.  People would say, "Wow, your eyes are so pretty . . . is that your real color?"  It was always such a bummer to say, "No, I wear contacts."  After hearing that same thing quite a few times I thought it wasn't worth hearing the compliment and that I would rather hear that about my eyes in their natural state.  I quit wearing the contacts and though I hear it less, I love hearing, "You have pretty eyes" now a lot more!

I decided to do a little experiment today (I have A LOT of time on my hands) and retouch a photo of my wedding day.  Here are a few things you should now about this experiment.  1.  The "natural" picture is about as natural as you can get.  I am wearing more eye makeup than normal, but I told my makeup artist that I wanted to look natural and not like I was wearing a ton of makeup.  2. The app I used on my phone is FREE.  I want to stress this point because if I can retouch my face like I did on a FREE app, think about how much people can do to celebrities with software that you have to pay for.  3.  I am as clueless and as much of a beginner as you can be when it comes to editing a photo and retouching a photo so again, IMAGINE how much a PROFESSIONAL can do to a photo.

I'm all for looking your best and feeling your best, but where do we draw the line.  I draw the line at surgeries and software.  I love to see people sans makeup, with their hair a mess, and just the way they were made.  My favorite look on myself is the straight out of bed look.  I lived in a college dorm with a BUNCH of girls who were all shapes, sizes, backgrounds, and who were very low maintenance to very high maintenance and I can honestly say, they looked the best when they were walking to the bathroom in the morning after first waking up and when they were walking around the floor in a robe after just getting out of the shower.  Natural.

Be you.  Wear makeup if you want to wear makeup.  I wear mascara and foundation on the reg. Feel your best.  But, don't forget how beautiful you are naturally.  And, when you are looking at people in magazines or on the internet, don't forget about the technology that is out there to make them look the way they do and try not to compare yourself to anyone. 

Here is the photo I retouched.  I slimmed my face, made my teeth whiter, added eyeliner, changed my lashes, added blush, added eyeshadow, enhanced my nose, lifted my cheeks, softened my skin, and brightened my skin . . . with a free app as a clueless editor. 

Xoxo,

Nicole

Farther Along

It's been so long since I've blogged.  I've had the itch for a while and am just now getting around to it.  I thought it would be nice to share where we are in our life right now.

It's strange because while we have almost nothing going on; we have a ton of things up in the air.  There is a LOT of waiting:  Waiting for the SBA loan, waiting for a life insurance policy, waiting for health insurance, waiting for jobs to be available, waiting for applications to be reviewed, waiting for e-mails to be replied.  Waiting, waiting, waiting. 

Long story short, we are STILL waiting on the SBA loan to close to start our practice.  We cannot do much without it.  We can't rent an office space, buy equipment, buy malpractice, PAY OURSELVES, etc.  We are both nervous but so very ready to start this new adventure so all of this waiting can be very trying.

I am definitely learning first hand just how big of a project starting your own business is (especially when you have zero dollars and everything hinges on a loan that was estimated to close a month ago.)  I am also daily trying to navigate how to cope with new things.  I have to keep myself in check (with the help of Kyle) and not let myself lose control and become too overwhelmed.  I fail, many times, and have metal breakdowns.  I actually had one last night.  But, I'm trying and I need to remind myself that trying is all I can do.  I've never been in this situation before and the most I can do is attempt to handle it with grace.

Part of me trying to remain calm and collected is daily giving over my worries to Jesus.  I do this daily, still struggle, and that is where other coping mechanisms have developed.  I just try to occupy my mind with something else. Whether it's cleaning, playing the piano, listening to traditional hymns, or watching a movie, I just try to not dwell on the things that trigger my breakdowns.  

The most important thing I learned from last night's breakdown is that it's okay to cry.  If we weren't supposed to cry, we wouldn't be able to.  I've realized that sometimes while crying seems unproductive it is actually very cathartic and calming.  While I'm crying, and freaking out, I seem very ruffled but by the end of it all, when the tears stop, I am much more calm.  

There is a reason for everything.  There is a reason we are in Norman, there is a reason the loan hasn't gone through, and there is a reason that we are going through these struggles.  The most important truth is that it is not my job to figure out why all of these things are happening.  A certain old hymn has been the theme song to my life lately and I find myself singing it a lot.  One of my favorite moments in Norman so far has been sitting in the sunshine in my living room with my puppy on my lap singing this hymn:

Farther along we'll know all about it,
Farther along we'll understand why;
Cheer up my brother, live in the sunshine,
We'll understand it all by and by.

When we see Jesus, coming in glory,
When He comes from His home in the sky,
Then we shall meet Him in that bright mansion,
We'll understand it all by and by.


Xoxo,

Nicole