I'm Going to Jackson . . . I'm Gonna Mess Around

"We got married in a fever, hotter than a pepper sprout.
We've been talking bout Jackson, ever since the fire went out.
I'm going to Jackson; I'm gonna mess around.
Ya, I'm going to Jackson.  Look out Jackson town." - Johnny Cash & June Carter

For the two of you that read this blog and maybe don't know, Kyle and I went to Jackson, MS a couple weekends ago to meet my parents.  I know, what were my parents (who live in NM) doing in Jackson, Mississippi?  Well the answer to that question is the purpose of this blog.

If you know me pretty well, you know that I have been pen pals with an inmate named Frankie since I can remember.  I've been sending letters to him and receiving letters from him since before I could write.  I attribute my love of snail mail to Frankie.  Yes, I love snail mail.  I get way too excited when I receive anything in the mail that is not junk or bills.  It's not completely normal to say, "I'm going to Mississippi to visit an inmate in a correctional facility that I have been pen pals with for 24 years."  But, I don't know when I've ever been called completely normal.

So what's the story there?  Why I am pen pals with a 58 year old African American in Mississippi?  Short answer:  Jesus.  In May of 1982, my dad traveled to Mississippi with a prison ministry and met Frankie.  When my dad met Frankie, his nickname in prison was "Muscle Head."  They formed a friendship and began writing letters and Frankie would call every once in a while.  

He had to explain to my mom in 1983, the year they got married, that when an inmate named Muscle Head calls collect, she should answer.  From there, my mom got to know him, and then she helped my brother and I write him letters as we were growing up.  Once I was old enough, I took it into my own hands to send him letters.  If I had every letter I've received from him all these years, I would not have the time or patience to count them.  On my 20th birthday alone, he sent me 20 birthday cards, which one of the most special things I've received.

You see, in prison, you don't get wages.  The money that you have comes from family or friends.  He had to not only buy all of those cards, but also had to buy 20 stamps to send them.   At the time, postage was .42, which comes out to $8.40 that he spent on sending me cards.  He does not have much money at all, like hardly any, so to know that he cared enough to make me feel special was amazing.


He always makes the envelopes special, by either making borders, or pasting a pretty picture from a magazine on the front.  He just goes out of his way with letters in a way that is somewhat outdated and unappreciated these days.


On May 5th, my mom, dad, Kyle, Frankie's sister Lorrine, and I went to the prison to see him.  I went in there thinking, "This is so great.  I bet he is so excited to have visitors and he will be so blessed."  What an idiot.  


If you've ever had to visit anyone in prison, you know how heartbreaking it can be.  Wives, kids, parents, all there to see someone they love knowing they only have a few hours on this one day a month to do so.  There were two little girls sitting at a table behind us, waiting for their dad to come out, and when the inmates started filing in the little girls were so excited they inched their way closer and closer to the door their daddy would be coming out of with the BIGGEST smiles on their face.  They'll never know, but they gave me a huge reminder to be grateful for what I have and to remember how blessed I am to have never had to go through that.


As we talked with Frankie for a few hours and I heard his stories of how one person can ruin it for the whole lot, I became more and more aware of how bitter someone can become in prison.  Frankie has been "in the system" for 35 years, arguably well enough time to become a bitter and hardened man, but he is the opposite.  

I feel, as a society, we are always searching for that next thing that is going to make us happy.  "Oh, if I just get this job, I will be so happy."  "I'd be so happy if I just lost those ten pounds." What I really realized during my visit with Frankie is that happiness is fleeting, but joy, true joy, is endless.  Joy comes from the Lord and cannot be taken away.  Frankie exudes this from the inside out.  Everything he has he gives glory to God.  
 
The most amazing part of the visit was just seeing how the other inmates, guards, and supervisors interacted with him and truly lit up when he spoke to them.  When we first arrived at the prison, they make you get out of the car, show your ID, and they check your car.  The man checking our ID's and cars asked where we came from and Frankie's sister, Lorrine told him that she was from Fayette and that we came from NM.  He lit up and said, "Oh, so you are the ones Frankie has been telling me about all week?"  The people there love him and care about his life.  It's amazing to see.


I went in thinking he was going to be blessed, when really I was the one feeling blessed, changed, and kind of ashamed at how I take for granted what I have. We can eat whatever we want, we are not confined to one cell, we don't have to be fenced in somewhere; we really have it good.  


I absolutely loved my visit with him and pray I show even just an ounce of the joy that he shares with everyone he talks to.

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Puppy Love or Puppy Exhaustion?

Kyle and I bought our first dog Friday, March 9th.  He is a "Teddy Bear."  Teddy Bear is the name given to the cross between a purebred Bichon Frise and a purebred Shih Tzu.  He truly does look like a little Teddy Bear, which is why I first fell in love with him when I saw his face on the pet rescue's website.

Every Thursday the rescue updates their site with new puppies and last Thursday I came across our puppy's face and thought he was just the cutest thing.  Kyle came home from school for a break and we went to the city to look at this little puppy, who at the shelter was known as Parker.

We went into the room where they bring you different puppies you like so you can get acquainted and see if he/she would be a good fit for your family and we immediately liked him.  He chewed on absolutely everything metal and ran a little bit crooked but he was just too sweet.  We payed for him that day and made plans for Kyle to pick him up the next day.

That night after I got off of work we went to PetSmart and found him a water/food dish, some toys, treats, and food.  It was all very exciting.

The next day I cleaned the house, picked up potentially chewable items of ours, and got the house all "puppy proofed" for our little guy.  At about 3:00 that afternoon Kyle went to the city to get our little puppy and bring him home.  All day at work I was so excited just to get home and see the little guy.  I raced home and came in to find Kyle looking a little exhausted and our puppy not at all exhausted. 

At this point I was just excited to have a new little friend and had absolutely no idea what I was in for.

That night, we retired early (especially for a Friday night) and we decided to put our puppy (still nameless) in his crate in our room.  He went NUTS.  He was jumping around all crazy, barking, crying, and just being an overall spaz.  Plan B time.  So we took the puppy to the living room and after asking the advice of veteran puppy owners we place a blanket over the crate leaving one side open facing the wall.  He barked some, cried a little, but was way more calm.


Everything I read said that new dogs need confinement because they won't want to "eliminate" in their own little space and it will help with the whole potty training and house breaking your dog thing.
Well, still very new at this, we did not get up in the night and let him out to pee.  Rookie mistake. This is because everything I read also said that usually he will whine or cry or do something to let you know he needs to go potty.  He was quiet all night.  I know because my husband wakes up VERY easily.  I, however, could sleep through an earthquake wrapped up in a tornado with a little tsunami on the side.  I am a heavy, heavy sleeper.  I pray this fades when we have a child.

The next day we spent most of it either getting things for our new puppy or cleaning up his pee everywhere in the house.  He went in the kitchen, on my floor mat, in the bathroom on my rug, in the living room, and in the bedroom on my exercise mat.  Saturday was a long day, but after buying him a smaller crate, a soft pillow to sleep on, and figured out a schedule I was beginning to think that we could definitely do this.  Oh, and I settled on a name.  Tumnus (from Narnia, of course).








Sunday, was a great day as far as accidents.  We went to a movie and left him for a little bit . . . he didn't pee in his crate!  There was not one accident in the house all day Sunday.  We talked a little more and came up with a better plan for potty training Tumnus.  We would wake once in the night, let him out to pee, then put him right back in.  Sunday night went great.  He went out and peed and went right back into his cage.  We woke up at 6 and he hadn't gone in his crate all night.  I was excited!  However, I started to realize how I pretty much couldn't let him out of my sight if I didn't want him to pee and I was beginning to become overwhelmed.  "Am I doing anything right?"  "How long will I have to watch his every move?"  "Will he ever get it?!?!"  I broke down.  Meltdown major.  Tears, tears, and more tears.  This is where Kyle is great.  You see, he never gets overwhelmed.  He never gets stressed.  He is crazy rational.  He is pretty much my polar opposite.  I always get overwhelmed.  Always stress.  And I am rarely rational.  He told me that if I was in over my head it was okay.  Maybe I wasn't ready and that we could always give him back.  "Give him back?!" I thought.  "How could I give this little cutie back?!" and "We just spent like two weeks pay on him.  He told me the money doesn't matter, it's not embarrassing, and that the last thing he wants is me to not be okay and be stressed all the time."   I know, ladies, he's pretty great . . . but he's mine.

In the smallest of ways, I just know God has my back.  It's barely March and this week we have had BEAUTIFUL weather.  So, Monday Meltdownday, Kyle came home for lunch and we sat outside.  Outside.  Why hadn't I thought of that?  We have a fenced in yard, chairs to sit outside, and a beautiful day.  Why am I not letting my little Tumnus run around while I relax.  You see outside I can let him be (for the most part) and I don't have to watch him like a hawk.  It was great.

Monday night he did great.  I got up in the night, stumbled my way to his crate, and let him out to go potty.  He went and he hadn't gone in his crate.  We woke up in the morning and he still hadn't gone!  Woo hoo!  He and I rested and watched One Tree Hill together, went outside and played, and then we had lunch with Kyle.   I left for work, Kyle came home, and he hadn't gone in his crate again!  This was all very exciting; however, I woke up this morning to Kyle telling me that he had gone in his crate last night.

Ah!  I feel like we were doing so good and then bam! one step forward, two steps back.  Bummer.  So, needless to say, I'm at this point where I'm wondering how long this "fun stage" will last and when I will be able to just do my thing and let him do his and not worry all the time.

He's as cute as can be and I love him, but man is he work.

If you have any puppy advice, feel free to give it to me.  I'm pretty much clueless, which is as frustrating to me as anything could be.

Healthy is Beautiful

February 27th.  Today marks the first day of many changes I'm making in my life.  I'm very excited about this.  Saturday Kyle and I were having a little husband/wife heart to heart and he said, "This time in your life is really when you have the chance to be in the best shape.  If you took a picture of yourself and looked back on it in the future would you want to say, 'this was me at my prime?'"  Obviously, you know the answer.  No, I would not want to look back at a picture of me today and say that this was me in my prime.  Wake up call.  So, I'm making changes and I'm glad I have his support.

1.  The first change I am making is waking up early and exercising.  I'm starting P90X again (the lean version).  If you have ever done P90X then you know that by the end you pretty much hate Tony and it might just be me, but I end up hating Dreya too.  The lean version of P90X Day 1 is Core Synergistics - every exercise involves strengthening your core.  There are exercises like Banana Rolls which if you just heard the name you'd think, "Yum, banana rolls," but they are not like they sound.






 Pretty much you start like this and hold it for 10 seconds.  While staying in this position you roll to your right side, again holding it for 10 seconds.  Then you roll to your stomach, hold for 10.  Then roll to your left side, hold for 10. Then you are back to the first position on your back and repeat it all again for who knows how long.  I tend not to watch the time because it's kind of like watching a pot boil. 

There are also Bow to Boats.  These are rough, especially on Day 1.  Last time I did them I was a pro by the end, but I was reminded today of how difficult they are when you are out of shape and weak. 

So basically you start like this (bow) and hold it for 10 seconds.

Then you roll over and get in this position, boat, (quickly, mind you) and you hold this for 10 seconds.  Then you roll back to bow and repeat this numerous times.









It's killer but the results are great and I'm ready to get my butt in gear and make these changes. 






2.  The next change I am making is drinking water and water only.  To help me in my effort to drink water only and more water than I usually drink, I purchased an Aladdin Insulated Tumbler.  I have had it since Thursday and has been one of my favorite purchases.  I drink way more water when it is cold and when I have a straw and this tumbler has been awesome.  I've already been drinking way more water and this morning I added slices of cucumber to my water to give it a fresh taste.  Yum.




3.  What goes with exercising and drinking water?  Eating right.  This one is very difficult for me because I really like certain foods (chips, breads, cheeses, etc) that are not really the best for me.  I'm pretty sure that I am pretty normal in that I don't eat enough vegetables, so that is one of my changes with food.  I eat pretty well, but I could stand to eat more fruit and vegetables.  So, today I started off my day with a piece of whole wheat toast garnished with cottage cheese and cucumbers.  Sounds kind of yucky, but it wasn't bad.  And it was an easy way for me to get some greens.  I think tomorrow I will put tomato and spinach instead of cucumbers for a different twist.  Lunch is really the trickiest meal of my day because I'm usually in a rush to eat quickly before I leave for work and so I want easy meals.  I think today I will do a salad and some turkey for lunch. 

Americans often think, "Oh, I will just not eat as much at my three meals and I will lose weight."  Wrong.  The best thing you can do is eat small meals but about every three hours.  So for me, I had my breakfast at about 8:30 (got a little late start - normally it will be about 7:30) and at about 11 I will have an orange and some almonds.  Then about 2:00, I will eat my salad and turkey.  Then at about 5 I will have a couple carrots, then at about 6:30 or 7:00 I will have some chicken and veggies.  Really, you don't have to eat a lot, just eat more times throughout the day.  When you don't eat for so long, your body goes into starvation mode and starts to store stuff thinking that it might need it later.  So for all of those people who say, "I will just have a big lunch and I'll be fine," good luck.

Those are my biggest changes I am making and I'm super excited about them.  I want to be healthy.  It's not about being skinny (though I want to look good) because skinny is not always attractive.  Perfect example:  Angelina Jolie at the Oscars last night.  It doesn't look healthy.  So for all those people who look at overweight people and make comments about how unattractive or gross they are, look at the other side of the spectrum.  Too skinny is not good either. 

To me, Zooey Deschanel is one of those women that I'd like to be like (physically). She looks healthy.  She looks like she takes care of herself and that she doesn't overdo it. 


That's what I want to look like, healthy.  Not like a twig.


Love,

Nicole

My Bouquet

Today I was making some changes to my facebook today and in doing so I went through some wedding pictures. (Courtesy of Brad and Hayley Trone* -Use them they are awesome)  I'm completely serious when I say that I would do it all over again every month.  Every one tells you when you are engaged that it is so stressful or "just elope," but I wouldn't trade that day for anything in the world (except maybe if someone was holding Kyle hostage and said, "It's either your wedding or Kyle." I'd hesitate, then choose Kyle.)

There was so much about that day that I loved.  It was truly everything I had ever dreamed of it being.  It's true that as little girls we begin planning our wedding at a very early age.  We have a home video of me dressed up like a bride: dress, shoes, veil, and garter.  It was something I couldn't wait to do.

The first thing that made it so incredibly wonderful was the man that I knew would be waiting at the front of the church for me.  I mean, who wouldn't want to marry this guy?  The fact that he is handsome is just a plus on top of his many qualities.  He is hilarious.  He makes me laugh all the time and I love to be around him while he is making others laugh too.  He is smart - almost too smart.  He will explain something to me and when I don't understand it, he will say, "How can you not understand this?"  I think he forgets that I'm not as intelligent as he is because I'm so smart about dumb things that he doesn't know.  He is sensitive.  He doesn't show this side to very many people, which is what makes it so special to me.  He really treats me like a princess, which is what you hope for when you are a little girl.  And by princess, I don't mean he buys me jewels and fancy gowns.  There is more to our love than material things.

The next thing that made my day so very special was having Kyrie as my Maid of Honor.  Since 2nd grade she has been there for me when ever I needed it.  At every age, she was there.  She is a wonderful comforter and has a heart of gold, pure gold.  She is also absolutely gorgeous.  She was honestly way out of my league as far as best friends go and she was definitely way too popular, but that's one of the reasons I love her most; she didn't dump me ever for cooler people.  I loved having her there. 

The other part of my day that made it so special was my family that was there.  It was such a gift from God to have my 90 year old grandma be there with me.  I didn't cry all day until she walked in the dressing room to see me and she said, "Well, you just look beautiful."  If you know my grandma at all, you know that she is just about the sweetest thing on the planet; however, she is not really one to compliment.  I think I get that from her (which I'm working on.)  So, for her to say that to me was the best.  I not only heard it from her but in her voice I heard it from my granny who I miss all the time, my sweet granddad who I loved so very much, and my two grandfathers that were taken way too soon - before I could meet them.  I was so incredibly blessed to have my grandma, my dad, my mom, my brother, and my extended family there with me that day.  My one regret is not getting a picture of just me and my grandma. 

My favorite material thing from that day (besides the cake that was so delicious) was my bouquet.  I got the idea from a Facebook friend's blog and I knew I just had to have that.  I kept wavering on what flowers I wanted and what color to have in the bouquet.  I was not very into it at all so when I saw the idea for my bouquet I was so excited.  I had my mom and her friend Jerri help me construct it.  My favorite part about it is that I was able to put family jewelry and brooches on it.  I have stuff from my grandma, granny, great-grandmothers, great-great-grandmothers, and Kyle's grandparents too.  It's pretty special that the pocket watch is his granddad's.  It was so heavy, but so worth it.  I absolutely loved it and thought it was so very "me."  I encourage others to take the idea and run with it because it is also great that I get to keep it forever and pass it on.



*http://www.hayleyrheagan.com/

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Annoying

One of the perks of my new job is free time and more specifically, free time to read.  The book I finished last night is Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer.  If you've watched TV at all recently you've seen the previews for it:  Sandra Bullock, Tom Hanks, 9/11, etc.  So basically it's about a boy who has lost his father in the terrorist attack on 9/11.  

The child's voice in the previews was extremely annoying to me, but I wanted to see the movie anyway.  However, I really like to read the book before I see the movie.  Side note:  The book is ALWAYS better.  

I had a lot of mixed feelings about this book when I finished it last night.  The kid is EXTREMELY ANNOYING in the book.  He talks 90 mph and is really matter of fact.  Once I got over that I was incredibly interested in getting to the end of the book.  I really like the way the author wrote this book.  He uses three character's perspectives and intermingles their stories.  


The other cool thing about this book is how you feel like you are a part of the story at times because of the way the book is put together.  The child is always inventing things in his mind and I've got to say he (the author) has some really good ideas.  For instance, a hole in mattresses for your arm to be in when you lay on your side.  Best. Idea. Ever.  I really think that would be useful because my arm gets sore after laying on it so much.


I liked the book but when I finished I kind of thought, "That's it?"  It left me with so many questions.  It was an okay ending but I felt like I was missing out on a lot of stuff.  The sensie (Scrubs reference) in me was hoping for a major twist in the story or to find out that the dad really didn't die.  Those things did not really happen for me, but a good read nonetheless and a very easy read.


After seeing the movie The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, I've decided to read that series (The Millennium Series) partially because Kyle is dying to know what happens next.  They are SUPER long though so I'm kind of dreading it a little bit.  


Before I start though I am going to read a little feel good, easy read:  Winnie the Pooh.  I've never read the book and I absolutely love Winnie the Pooh (classical).  If I have a little girl, her room will be all Classical Pooh decor.  

Eeyore was saying to himself, "This writing business. Pencils and what-not. Over-rated, if you ask me. Silly stuff. Nothing in it.