Heaven

A few weeks ago my pastor asked us to turn to those around us and say what we are most looking forward to when we get to Heaven. Had he asked this years ago, my answer would have been "My Papaw and my Granddad."  That was always my answer because I never got to meet them and I know I would have loved them so very much.  However, when my pastor asked that question that day my eyes welled up and all I could think was, "I'm so excited to see Jesus." 

Even as I'm typing this my eyes are filling with tears because I cannot even imagine what it will be like to finally see Jesus, but I just know it will be the most amazing thing.  Heaven is a really overwhelming thought because no one knows what it will be like.  Most of the places I have been to have been great, but I knew what to expect.  I've either known someone who has been there, seen a picture on the internet, or seen something in a movie. 

I cannot even pretend to try and create in my mind what heaven will be like but I look forward to it so much. Sometimes, I think it will be like Ender's Game when Ender is on the ship and has to reorient himself to a new way of thinking about what is actually up and what is down. 

It's been weeks since the question was asked, but I thought about it again as I was playing Joan Osbourne's "One of Us" this morning.  In it she says, "If God had a face, what would it look like and would you want to see?"  I thought about that as I was playing and singing and I got really excited that someday I will get to meet Him face to face. 

It's strange because usually when I'm reading a book and getting to know the characters in the book, their faces and bodies begin to come to life.  I create in my mind these people that I've never met and they look nothing like anyone I know.  However, I have never put a face to Jesus.  When I picture him in my mind, a person does not even appear.  What I see is a little shack on a beach, standing tall amidst the biggest storm.  I've thought about it before and I think the image appears because He is my strength.  I am the shack; weak and ill-equipped to get through the storm, but He is bigger than the storm surrounding my shack and somehow keeping me all in one piece.  He is my security.  He is my fortress.  He is constant.  He is my peace.  Through the storm, it's with His help that I'm still standing.
 
My thoughts are scattered, but this is all to say, that I find joy in knowing that one day I will get to meet my creator.

What are you most excited about?  No, seriously.  I'd love to know.


In honor of the topic at hand, here is a cover of One of Us.

 

Xoxo,

Nicole 

Ink

A little over a month ago, I got my second tattoo.  I really like tattoos, even if they are not necessarily something I would get because there is always a story.  Recently, at the Taste of St. Louis I saw a guy whose entire face was decorated with tattoos.  My first thought was, "OUCH!" and my second, "I want to know those stories."  Why did he get them on his face?  What do they mean?  Are they for someone special?  Are they spirtual?  Are they a drunken mistake?  A dare?  Whether they are meaningful or a regret he has, there is a story there and I love a good story.

Not only do I love to hear a good story, I love to tell my stories.  Today, as I sit listening to Ludovico Einaudi play some beautiful tunes on the piano, I thought it would be nice to tell the meaning behind my two tattoos.  Disclaimer:  If you hate tattoos, I'm sorry.  You do not have to get one but my opinion on them is that they are cool and harmless.

Last December, Kyle got me my first tattoo for my Christmas gift.  For my first tattoo, I wanted something for my husband.  His first tattoo he got is my name (in my handwriting) on his arm.  So, it only seemed right to return the favor.  Ink for ink.  I thought about what I would get and where I would get my first tattoo for a really long time.  The place came to me first:  The top of my shoulder.  I was traveling to New Mexico and saw a girl with a tattoo on the top of her shoulder and instantly I knew that was where I wanted mine.

I was so excited to tell Kyle that I at least knew where I wanted the tattoo.  I just had to figure out what I wanted to get.  I thought about our wedding date, 04.30.11, but I just don't like the way those numbers look together.  Had I had more options of dates, trust me, we would have gotten married on a more symmetrical date.  My whole life I really pictured a November wedding, but when you are getting married to a chiropractic student, you get married on one of his two week breaks.  My options were April or August and who was I kidding; I couldn't wait until August to marry my best friend.

Finally, one day as I was thinking of things that are sentimental to the two of us, I thought of a song by Coldplay that was one of our songs when we were dating.  The song is Kingdom Come and it's a beautiful song.  The chorus goes a little like this, "For you I'd wait, til Kingdom Come.  Until my day, my day is done.  Say you'll come and set me free.  Just say you'll wait.  You'll wait for me."  This song was one we'd listen to together and one he would play on guitar as I sang to it.  On the inside of his wedding band (if it's not completely worn off) are the words, "Til Kingdom Come."  It's so simple yet it's really the core of a marriage.  For better or worse, til death do us part.  For me, til kingdom come is special because of our faith and belief that one day Jesus will come back and take all of His followers to Heaven to spend eternity with him.  (By the way, explaining this tattoo to a 9 year old Catholic Private schoolgirl is super tricky.)

So, I decided on getting "Til Kingdom Come" and I love seeing it and remembering so many things.  I remember us listening to that song, us playing that song, us planning our wedding, us getting married, the way he looked when I walked down the aisle, our first dance, our drive to Missouri, and the vows we took to love each other until the very end.

My first ink.  

Ask just about anyone who has gotten a tattoo before and they will most likely tell you the same thing:  After the first you get this tattoo craving and just want more and more.  Needless to say, I wanted another one right after getting my first one, but tattoos also cost money.  Ugh, I know right?  Greedy tattoo artists.  Not too long after getting my first tattoo I told Kyle that I wanted to get a Bible verse or something having to do with my faith before we move from St. Louis because I really like the shop I got my first one at and I really liked the artist. 

A couple months ago, I was reading my Bible and journaling, with my next tattoo designed and settled on.  The passage that I was supposed to read that day was from Matthew 6.  I was reading this passage and got to verse 25 and thought, "Okay, God.  I know what you are doing.  You are trying to tell me something here and it's not the first time."  You see, I'm a worrier; to a fault.  It's bad.  I think I get it from my grandma which is terrible because I always ask her, "Does worrying help anything?" when I should be saying the very same thing to myself.  I was really hit by this passage, even though it's about the 1,000th time I've read it.  The whole passage is great, but verse 26 just really puts everything into perspective.  It says, "²⁶ Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?"

I love birds, but I believe I can safely say most people could care less about birds.  But, I believe I can also safely say that people care a great deal about people; especially those they love.  I can say the same for God.  For 25 years He has provided for me, cared for me, and sheltered me.  Why after 25 years would He just suddenly stop as if to say, "Okay, little girl, your on your own now."  That's just not the nature of God.  In that moment, I said to myself, "You are ridiculous.  Seriously, the birds are provided for by God, why wouldn't you be?  Why do you worry yourself sick over things that you cannot control?  Do your best and work hard, and God will take care of it all."  It was after that when I decided to change my tattoo idea and get Matthew 6:26 to be a constant reminder of how I need to trust God and not worry, for worrying really gets me nowhere.

After deciding on my tattoo, I decided to get it on my neck.  For aesthetic purposes, I wanted it somewhere that would be pretty but that I could also cover up if I didn't want it shown for some reason.  I also love birds and thought it was rather fitting to have some with the verse due to it being about birds.  

I suffer from headaches (some that I do not contribute to) and others that often come from worry and stress.  Before it starts to get really bad, I feel a lot of pain in my neck.  So, it only seemed fitting to have my next tattoo, a verse on not worrying, to be on my neck.  It's a great place because I'm very aware of my neck as I carry a lot of tension there throughout the day.  Anytime my neck is bothering me, whether it be from a long day or from a headache, I am reminded that even the birds are taken care of and to not worry.  I am not the best at not worrying and it is something that is difficult to just quit doing willy nilly, but I can honestly say that my tattoo is a wonderful tool in helping me remember all that I felt that day while I was reading the Bible.  

Ink Two.

So, those are my stories.  I hope to have many, many more.  If you have a tattoo, I'd also love to know the meaning behind it.   

Frame It

Today I thought I would share a little decorating idea that I had and that I have put into use in my home.

Trader Joe's has the cutest cards for 99 cents.  I'm truly a sucker for anything cute for 99 cents.  They switch out the cards regularly so when I see a super cute one, I grab it.  I've even bought multiple of some cards just because I like them so much.  Some are just pretty and some have quotes that I fall in love with.

I have always loved cards and when I'm shopping for a card to send someone I'm always thinking, "Man, I wish someone would send me this card.  If they did I would keep it and frame it."  This thought led me to my decorating idea:  Framing cards as decor.  All the ones I have framed are from Trader Joe's because they fit so nicely in a 5X7 basic white frame from Michaels (6.99).

Here are some I've framed, two of which are part of my kitchen fall decor.  The last one is my favorite find at Trader Joe's because it says, "You are one of my nicest thoughts," has hot air balloons, and is a Georgia O'Keefffe quote.  In other words, it's pretty much made for a New Mexican.

"Give Thanks"

Be Happy-It's one way of being wise."

The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.  -Audrey Hepburn

You are one of my nicest thoughts . . . " -Georgia O'Keeffe

 Xoxo,

Nicole

40 Facts about Me

Tuesday Morning
October 1st, 2013
Listening to:  My, My Love by Joshua Radin (on repeat)

Just a little bit about me.

1.  I'm 25 but I feel 20 (minus the whole college thing).
2.  I'm 5'7" but there are days when I feel like 5'10".
3.  My eyes are green with some blue at times and always with yellow in the center.
4.  I wish my hair was as dark as it is when it is wet but I don't want to dye it.
5.  Laying with my head on my husband's chest is my favorite place to be.
6.  If I were savvy enough to make a career out of blogging, cupcakes, crafts, or organizing, I would do it in a heartbeat. 
7.  I have serious baby fever.  I think it's because everyone I know is either pregnant or trying.  It could also be that I have just always wanted to be a mom.  It could be that my job is kind of mommish but without all of the mom perks.  It could also be a combination of all three.
8.  My grandma is my favorite person and I cry at least once a week due to her rapid decline in memory.
9.  My grandma gave me a baby blanket that I have slept with 99% of all the nights in my life.  It is so ragged and falling apart that one Christmas my brother gave me the one she gave him. 
10.  I often carry a jacket in my car just to have something to hold onto as kind of a surrogate blanket.  (I hate driving and also my life is overwhelming right now.)
11.  If I'm on a couch with a throw pillow, I will most likely be hugging that pillow.  I like to hug pillows, blankets, and my husband; but, I am not much of a hugger when it comes to other people.  I've always been a "touch-me-not."
12.  I have a slight fear of public restrooms that only have one toilet and the door is miles away from it.  Like, seriously, what would I do if the lock was broken?  I couldn't do anything. 
13. Sometimes Tumnus, my dog, does something so incredibly cute that I can't believe how much love I have for him.  Cuddling with him is one of my favorite things in the entire world.  This also scares me to have children because if I can love a dog that much, how much more will I love my own child?!
14.  I would get married again every day if I could.  It was the best day and I felt so pretty in my dress.
15.  I'm very shy at first, especially in large groups, but I love good conversation once I feel comfortable with you. 
16.  I hate listening to music with people on road trips.  I would rather talk or read a book in silence. 
17.  Driving long distances at any time of day makes me incredibly tired.
18.  I'm scared of having a middle schooler.  I hated middle school and felt so awkward all the time and I never want my kids to go through that but I know it's inevitable.
19.  I don't want to give up my NM license plate or drivers' license. 
20.  If I can't find something I need/want, I will not stop looking until I find it or until I absolutely have to be somewhere else and cannot look anymore.  If I stop because I have to go to work, I think about where it might be all day long.  I think I get that from my grandma.
21.  I'm paranoid when watching children on playgrounds or bleachers.  I'm pretty sure at any moment, one of them will need to go to the E.R. 
22.  I can remember what Kyle was wearing and where we were when I "fell in love."
23.  I love singing so much that sometimes it makes me angry that it's not more a part of my life.  Ellen, are you reading this?  You seem to make people's dreams come true.  I'd just like to be in a folk band or sing with some of my favorite singers.
24.  I cry really hard when a character in one of my favorite shows dies.  I guess it's because I feel that I know them.  I also cry at almost any proposal.
25.  My favorite candy is Airheads.  I don't know what that says about me.
26.  I will never understand the appeal of beer or really any drink that you "get used to."
27. I love Christmas.  It is my favorite holiday because of the songs, decor, anticipation, and all the different traditions. 
28.  I wish I still danced. (I'm not counting dancing by myself in my room.)
29.  In our next place, I'd like a room big enough where I can walk around both sides of our bed.  It's too much work to make the bed when it's against a wall and I love making my bed.
30.  One day I want a backyard and a doggy door for Tumnus to just do as he pleases.
31.  I'm a sucker for most Real Housewives Shows.  I'm fascinated at how they all get divorced and end up with an alcoholic beverage or song of their own.
32.  I wish I was friends with Ross, Rachel, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica in real life.  I wish I was the 7th "Friend."
33.  I love traveling.  (I just don't really have the means right now to do it.)  But when I do, I want to go to Scotland, Ireland, France, Italy, Greece, and states in America that I haven't been to.
34.  I have been to 13 Major League Baseball Stadiums.  I hope to go to all of them.
35.  I love receiving and sending mail.
36.  I know shockingly little about what is going on in the world.
37.  I have NO interest in anything political.  Never have.  Never will.
38.  I think insurance is a crock.  I pay so much a month and don't feel I get anything out of it.
39.  I love a good cry if I'm overwhelmed or stressed.  It calms me down.
40.  Target is one of my favorite stores.

That is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to who I am but I thought I would share it with you, whoever you are.

Xoxo,

Nicole