A New Beginning

After stumbling across a blog of a girl I used to know, I decided I wanted to create one. I used to blog all the time on Myspace, but I rarely get on that anymore. Blogging used to be my outlet, my way to let things out, to vent, and to express myself. So I am excited to start this new blog. It will be a welcomed addition to my days here in Albuquerque.

This is my first semester at a new university. I am at the University of New Mexico in Albuquerque, NM. When I first moved up here people asked me, "how do you like it?" to which I replied with a simple shrug of the shoulders. There is a heavy bittersweet feeling to be here in this new place. There are a lot of frustrations that people might overlook or simply not understand.

I was very comfortable at Northwest. I had a group of friends I could go to for help, I knew the ins and outs of the school, and I had a rather nice support system. I also had been there three years and only had three semesters left as of May 2009. But, I know that I am supposed to be here now, it's just a little difficult sometimes.

I have been very lonesome this past week, longing for familiar faces, people I could just get with and not have the awkward spaces of silence, and the getting to know you small talk. I have not really made any friends at UNM, merely classmates. I have a couple of people in classes that I talk to and I am getting to know, but for some reason I am past that point in my life where I want to get to know people.

Now, if you asked me, "How do you like UNM?" I would simply say, "I love the school and I love Albuquerque." I don't miss Northwest, as a school, because after going to UNM, I see that my time here will be well spent. I feel that the academic level at UNM is higher, and that I am pushed. At Northwest, I had become complacent. It was easy to do my best and to achieve the best, but I needed something new.

Lately, I have become frustrated though and feel as though I am trapped in a world of academia. I think to myself, "May of 2011, that's a long time." And it really is a long time. The first few months of school just flew by and I think that is due to some many new things coming all at once. But right now I feel somewhat stagnant. I find myself wanting to just sleep until Thanksgiving.

I am learning a lot about myself living alone. I always thought I would love living alone, and I do at times, but there are moments when I wish I would unlock my door and walk in my apartment to see a familiar face. It makes me really long for the future and being able to share a place with someone I love, to go to sleep knowing I am not alone, and to wake up elated because they are still there.

Kyle and I do fine being away from each other, but it is definitely hard. I understand why people say long distance never works. To those people I say, "you just didn't want it bad enough." I am growing up a lot by being away from him. It's making me realize that it is up to me, and that I have to do things on my own during this chapter in my life. I am really excited for what is to come, but I am trying my best to live in the moment.

I am a little overwhelmed with school and have found myself becoming stressed over the last week. I need to be productive and read two books before December. I know I can do that, I just don't find them interesting, which is what makes it difficult to find that motivation to learn. I have a test in environmental science on Wednesday and I am rather nervous about it. I have brought my grade up to a 94 and I am worried that my test score might bring it down again. I did do the extra credit assignment a while back to try and combat bad scores.

I look forward to Thanksgiving, but as always there will be school stuff in the back of my mind. I am so ready to be done with school, and to have a classroom, where I won't be graded per se, but will have the reigns. I look forward to Christmas, even though I like Thanksgiving better, because I will have closed the book on this semester, and will only have a new semester to look forward to.

I must now be productive and do something with my day.

"Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies."
-Mother Teresa